Paul Haworth: Jonny on a Chorizo

THE YEAR IS 2009. Gangs of children, some as young as ten, are slowly roasting puppies over bonfires. To be alive is unrelenting and grim. Pyramid schemesters, balloon boys, gender-row runners. Pop-up brothels in industrial units. Fish nibbling at feet. Facemasks on the street. Pandemic after pandemic. New and more deadly strains keep coming and a sneeze on the tube is now a potential death sentence.

ENOUGH. Because Alex ‘Abs’ Brenchley is back – and this is his last goodbye.

Picking up straight after Alone, Desperate and Going Nowhere, he returns exhausted, rebarbative, defeated. And impotent. A pact is made: if life remains so desperately miserable, Abs will get off this melancholy-go-round once and for all. But his luck and his London are about to change, following a chance meeting with Ga—

No to spoilers: Jonny on a Chorizo is a book of surprise and adventure. Carrying the reader on a joyous ride through London – its pearly queens, crushed dreams, bashment, blue jeans, scenes of romance in Crowlands – towards a heartfelt climax. Une fin véritable to a trilogy which began with the publication of Silk Handkerchiefs in 2009.

So let’s bump uglies, dance about the Maypole and have one last night at the St Moritz, because this is it: Jonny on a Chorizo is the end for Abs.